Monday, January 30, 2006

The Slippery Slope to Coolness

I suddenly realised this morning that I spent the whole weekend partying and snowboarding. My life has become a Pepsi commercial without me even realising it. I guess it's just one of those things you don't notice is happening until it's happened; like returning home one day and realising that you're wearing the same clothes as your dad. Only in this case it's kind of the reverse - one moment I'm happily minding my own business, looking forward to the next crossword in the morning newspaper, and the next thing I know I'm shredding powder, grabbing air, and getting all up in yo' face. If I'm not careful I'll be rollerblading next, which is hardly the occupation of an English gentleman. 
At the same time I like to feel that I'm maintaining the "spirited amateur" ethos of the British by being Not Very Good at most sports. In this way I can maintain a keen interest in snowboarding without the handicap of actually knowing what I'm doing most of the time. This allows me to don the mantle of "snowboarder" in the same way that one might casually throw on a loose-fitting cravat, or top off a three-piece suit with a jauntily-angled hat. Conversely, in order to cement my amateur status amongst other "boarders" I like to dress as badly as I possibly can whilst on the slopes, clad head to toe in sensibly-priced, second-hand garments, in a variety of awful colours.
Having said all that, I did drink a Pepsi when I was out snowboarding on Saturday. In my defence, it was given to me free of charge as part of a promotion, but that's the way they suck you in, like drug dealers giving you the first wrap of heroin for free. Before you know it I'll be quaffing Pepsi by the crate full, whilst nameless Swedish bikini models accompany me for paragliding weekends on my speedboat. Or something. It's a slippery slope I tells ya.
On a separate note, happy birthday to Dan, Mitsuko and Flick, and thanks to everyone who attended for the hilarity of Saturday night. Much kudos goes to Dan for randomly turning up to the bar dressed as a beer. Good work fella.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is all ok as I have been losing my cool by the sack load. This weekend I painted my house. Ho hum.

6:46 am  

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