Thursday, June 01, 2006

Lewis The Fashion Anarchist

It's the first of June today, which means it's the start of summer uniform at school - the kids don't have to wear their blazers to class, and teachers are permitted to throw off their jackets and ties in favour of the casual open-necked shirt look.
Of course, no one told me. This morning I came to school dressed in my usual snazzy tie and jacket combo only to discover dress-down-day-a-rama happening in the staff room. To be fair, I should have known it was coming - after all I've been here for two years now, and it's always on the same day - but then again that would mean me actually knowing what day it is when I turn up to school, and at that time of the morning I can barely put one foot in front of the other until I've had my second cup of coffee, let alone decipher complicated devices such as calendars.
What is it with these rigid changeover dates in my school anyway? It's like how they never turn the heaters on before December 1st, no matter how cold it gets. Six months ago I remember sitting in this exact same chair typing emails whilst wearing gloves and a coat - it was that cold in the staff room. Why couldn't they choose a date based on the actual weather conditions outside? I bet if there was a freak snowstorm outside right now they'd still expect everyone to come to school without a jacket. As it happens, the sun's blazing down out there, but that's beside the point.
Anyway, like I said, all the male teachers ditched their tie and jacket today - it seems that summer uniform is more compulsory than optional. Suddenly I was faced with a stark decision: Do I take off my tie to blend in with the crowd? I thought about the agonising 30 seconds I'd spent in front of the mirror this morning trying to figure out what tie would go best with this shirt (yes, yes, I know, I'm vain), and I hated the idea of ripping off that carefully chosen neck garment just because THE MAN had dictated it. To hell with the rules! I'm wearing my tie, and I'm proud! None of this louche open-necked shirt business for me - I'm an English gentleman, dammit! It's my right to look sharp at all times, and no one can take that away from me! Spread the word - comfort is out, dapperness is in! Down with polo necks! Up with Windsor knots!
And if anyone asks why you're wearing I tie when you don't have to, simply reply: "Because, sir, I like it."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hate to break it to you, but its a white shirt. Pretty much any tie will go with it.

6:56 am  
Blogger Ian said...

Maybe I'm reading to much into things but it seems you're becoming a tad tired with the regimented Japanese lifestyle.

Blighty maybe be a mess but at least we'll stick the heating on if its cold.

8:22 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn you lewis, no ties are awesome. My manly neck needs to breath and my plastic buttons want to be seen by the world. Down with the revolution, off with the ties!!

in pains me to be anti-revolution, but dressing up sucks. here's hoping cool biz is in effect at recontracting conference

4:06 pm  
Blogger Shining Love Pig said...

Make sure to have your cup of tea at 3 o`clock.

2:40 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now I've heard everything? I don't know how many male teachers are now cursing you from this side of the water! Although I did notice you got rid of the blazer awfully quickly... ;)

11:52 pm  

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