Thursday, June 15, 2006

Jaded?

A few people have emailed me to ask if I'm feeling a bit jaded with Japan. My initial answer was "No! Of course not! I love Japan! I even have a T-shirt that says 'Japan Rocks'. Yay Japan!", but then I had a look back over the last few posts I'd written for my blog and I realised they were all really negative. If you compare them to the stuff I was writing a year and a half ago there's a whole world of difference.
 
So when I thought about it, I realised that maybe everything isn't as rosy as I think it is. Maybe I am jaded. I never thought I'd feel like this about Japan ("Yay Japan!") but I actually can't wait to leave. I've done pretty much everything I came here to do - I've climbed a volcano in Hokkaido, saw humpback whales in Okinawa, watched the sunset from a European mansion in Nagasaki, hung out with the kids in Harajuku, boarded down Olympic ski runs in Nagano, stayed in a capsule hotel in Osaka and visited the Golden Temple in Kyoto. Almost the only thing left on the list is to visit Hiroshima, which will be the last big trip before I leave.
 
I've done some amazing stuff, but now it's time to call it a day. My job is really getting me down, to the point where I'm finding it harder and harder to drag myself out of bed every morning to go to work, and I desperately need a change. There's absolutely nothing wrong with the teachers or kids at my school - I just don't want to teach any more. Teaching has been fun, considering it's something I vowed never to go into 6 years ago, but I've been doing it long enough now to realise that it's definitely not something I'd like to be doing for the rest of my life. The pressure of thinking up new lesson plans week after week is just getting too much, and I've been feeling totally run down for the past few weeks. Even the teachers at school have told me that I look tired, and not in that nice phrase that Japanese people use when they actually mean "you've been working hard".
 
It doesn't help that every spare minute of my day is taken up with organising stuff to do with leaving - whether its emailing people about selling stuff, working out travel plans or just clearing up my house. It never seems to end.
 
So anyway, yes, I am feeling a little jaded I guess, but I feel a bit better for having written all this stuff down. Rant over.

4 Comments:

Blogger Caitlin said...

I hear you, Lewis.

This post is actually encouraging, though, reminding me that going home is not such a bad idea.

Here's hoping that we can manage to enjoy the last month and a half without our heads combusting with preparation overload.

Let's beat the system of Leaver's Mentality!

2:16 pm  
Anonymous Trevski said...

All you need is a trip to the toasterie, and all will be fine.

And, and possibly some really strong English lager.

6:41 am  
Blogger Soni said...

I'm in 2 minds - I love this blog - and i don't know what I'd do on thursday evenings if it ever ended - however, that was the most perfect blog entry you should leave it at that... nay, you should just disappear now and and become a legend - the man who perfectly ended his blog, 7foot tall he was, with flowing read mullet...

1:57 am  
Anonymous risingsunofnihon said...

At least you know it is time to get out! It wouldn't be good for you or the students if you stayed on without wanting to. But won't you continue your blog through your new adventures?

11:48 pm  

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