
"Hand Designing Aqua Jelly NUDY". Lord knows what this stuff does, but I can honestly say I have no wish to re-design my hands.
Welcome to the highs and lows of living in Asahi, Nyu-gun, a small and strange town nestled in the mountains of western Japan. Dare you read what thrilling adventures will befall....AN ENGLISHMAN IN NYU-GUN!!!
I just wanted to say congratulations to my friends Paul and Jenny, who
got married this weekend. Congratulations! I was so disappointed that
I couldn't make the ceremony - I really really wanted to be there.
It's at times like this when I realise just how far away from home I
actually am...
Still, I'll be back for a couple of weeks at Christmas, so hopefully
I'll be able to catch up with everyone then. I can't believe it's been
a year and a half already... How time flies when you're teaching
English to sleeping teenagers.


I knew that comic books were popular in Japan before I came here, but
I never realised quite how massively popular they actually are. For
example, I never realised that students would be reading them under
their desks in class whilst I try to teach them English. Don't let
people tell you that all Japanese kids are ultra polite - in
comparison to British and American teenagers they're absolute angels,
but they still read and chat loudly with their friends in class, make
up excuses to go to the toilet so they can bunk out of lessons and
even fall asleep right there at their desk.
Actually, that last one happens quite a lot, and most of the Japanese
teachers don't seem to mind - they just let them lie there. I think
there's some sort of unspoken implication that if a student is so
tired that they fall asleep at their desk, then they must have been up
studying well into the early hours of the morning. Although in my
experience there's an uncanny correlation between the sleepers and the
kids I saw smoking behind the convenience store the other day. So I've
developed a new strategy - poking the little sods until they wake up.
I'm not sure if poking is necessarily the key to forming a strong
student-teacher relationship, but it sure is effective. I've also
instigated the "Sleepers' Hall of Fame" - every time a student falls
asleep at his or her desk I take a picture with my mobile phone and
stick it up in the library. That'll learn 'em.
Anyway, back to manga. The comic book culture is quite different here
from the UK. For a start it's quite normal for girls to be heavily
into manga, and there's a huge slice of the comic book market which
caters specifically to girls (see the girls' manga section below).
Comics are also incredibly cheap - huge second-hand stores like "Book
Off" deal almost exclusively in manga and sell most titles for about
100 yen - that's just 50p. Plus the average comic is usually over 100
pages long: huge compared to American comics, which usually only have
about 30 pages per issue for three or four times the price.
The down side is that pretty much all manga is printed in black and
white - hence its cheapness. As a result the artwork in Japanese
comics, although very admired, isn't fetishised as much as in American
comics: lavishly painted, double page picture spreads are fairly
common in America, but extremely rare in Japan. Consequently, comics
by famous American artists and writers tend to go up in value over
time, whereas the price of most manga tends to fall as it becomes more
"out of date". My students couldn't believe it when I told them that
the first issue of "Spider-man" could fetch hundreds and hundreds of
dollars at auction.
Manga has a surprisingly seedy underbelly too - nudity is pretty
common, but no one really seems to bat an eyelid. Having said that,
nudity seems pretty common in practically ever country other than
Britain and America, so perhaps it's just my Puritan outrage welling
up unnecessarily. There's something definitely creepy about the manga
toys though, particularly the scantily clad plastic models of girls.
There must be a huge market for them, because there's hundreds for
sale in all the second-hand shops, but I've yet to actually see
someone buy one. Maybe they come out after dark...
Actually, the shop assistants must have thought I was the creepy one,
since I was standing around for about 15 minutes trying to get good
photos of the naked plastic toys with my mobile phone. Suddenly I
heard an announcement over the speakers in Japanese and I swear I
heard the word "mobile", then when I looked round the till girls were
all giving me funny looks. "OK......this looks....dodgy", I thought.
How could I explain in Japanese that the photos were just web-related
research? Would they believe me? Well, you know what they say: "when
in doubt, peg it out of the shop as fast as you can and don't look
back in case they recognise you."
And I think we can all learn something from that.
I realised that I haven't put any Engrish pictures on my blog for
absolutely ages, so here's a few choice cuts, as it were. Let's enjoy
Engrish!!!
Kobe isn't usually at the top of most travellers "must see" lists. The
nearby cities of Kyoto and Osaka far outshine Kobe in terms of culture
and nightlife, so it's easy to see why most people rarely take the
trouble to make a trip into the Other Big K. Whilst Kyoto is famous
for its temples and Osaka is famous for its food and late night
clubbing culture, Kobe is probably most famous for the massive
earthquake that occurred there in 1995. Not exactly the greatest
advertisement for a city.
Having said that, I found Kobe to be one of the most enjoyable cities
I've been to so far. The very fact that it's not so popular with
tourists is one of its greatest assets - anyone who's joined the crush
of people straining to get a look at one of the famous temples in
Kyoto will know what I mean.
In terms of sightseeing attractions the city doesn't have a huge
amount to offer. There's a cable car which climbs the mountains behind
the city, as well as a "foreign quarter" filled with replicas of
mostly European houses, but we didn't have time to visit either of
these. Apart from that there's the Chinatown and the harbour and
that's...well, that's about it really.
So why did I enjoy it so much? I guess the atmosphere was a major
factor - it's just such a pleasant city to wander around. It's
difficult to describe exactly why, but I think the top class
restaurants, bars and shops have a lot to do with it. When it came to
eating out we were spoiled for choice, constantly stumbling across
great restaurants and bars. We even found an organic vegetarian cafe,
and I can't even begin to describe how rare a find that is in Japan.
I think if I was only visiting Japan for a short while I might be
disappointed by Kobe's lack of historical sights and its slow pace,
but as a long-term resident from deep in the Japanese countryside it
was a welcome change. In fact, it's one of the few Japanese cities I
wouldn't mind living in myself... mostly for the organic vegetarian
cafe of course.
So I went to the supermarket last night after work to stock up on some
much needed food supplies. After a quick dash round the aisles I
arrived at the checkout and the beaming young lady at the till began
scanning my purchases. The total was 2,317 yen.
Now, if you live in Japan you probably know how annoying all the small
change can be, particularly the next-to-useless 1 yen coins. Pretty
much all the English teachers I know around here have an enormous jar
somewhere in their apartment brim-full of 1 yen coins which they can
do absolutely nothing with. The bank charges you to change them into
higher coinage, and it would be far too embarrassing to actually take
a sackload to the shop to buy something with them, so they just sit
there, unused. Consequently, I try and get rid of my small change
wherever possible.
In this case I wanted to pay with a 5000 yen note, but in order to
avoid being handed back a large pile of loose change I cunningly
fished out exactly 317 yen in coins from my pocket. Yes sirree, three
crisp 1000 yen notes were gonna be heading my way. The smug grin was
already forming across my face.
However, something was amiss. The beaming till girl had given me just
two 1000 yen notes, and had begun to count out mountains of change -
the transaction had gone very wrong. I looked up at the till screen
and to my horror I realised I'd forgotten to give her the ten yen coin
in my hand, and she'd begun counting out 2990 yen in change. Heavens
above!!! Quick as a flash I thrust the ten yen coin towards her with a
quick "sumimasen", but her reply almost knocked me to the floor: "[in
Japanese] I'm sorry, but the till says I have to give you 2990 yen in
change."
What?
She went back to counting out exactly 990 yen in small coins.
I was gobsmacked. Surely it would have been easier all round just to
give me a note? Was the till angry at me? Why was it making me suffer?
Several things occurred to me as I walked back to my car with the
massive ball of change chinking against my leg:
1) In Japan, the customer is always right. When I accidentally gave
her 2307 yen instead of 2317 yen the till girl automatically assumed
that I must have done it for a reason. Perhaps I just loved small
change, and would be ecstatic to receive 990 yen in small denomination
coins. Perhaps she thought I was going to a football match later and
needed lots of coins to throw at the referee. Or maybe she was just
too scared to tell me that I had given the wrong change because she
might have had to speak in English. Probably the last one I expect,
although I'd like to believe that she thought I had some sort of coin
fetish.
2) Although the customer is always right, the till has divine
supremacy over everyone and everything, and as such it MUST BE OBEYED.
Here endeth the lesson.
As I say, only a minor annoyance. But still annoying.

